Most pizza deliveries are uneventful exchanges— pay the delivery guy, acquire a hot pie, and everyone wins. But not all. Below, a selection of reader-submitted stories touching on delivery box hoarders, potential love interests, good reasons to just pick up your pizza, and more. Have a delivery horror story you want to tell us? Please leave it in the comments or send it in through the tipline.
· "Discovered the delivery man for our favorite independent pizza place was on the Sex Offender list. We still give them lots of business, but we pick up our pizzas now." —Paula E.
· "I met this lady Angela, maybe 30's or 40's, milf type that works at Dominos, any way you seemed in to me and I'll honestly say I'd love to have some fun with you." —Craiglist, Missed Connections
· "I used to work for a delivery service in Austin similar to Grub Hub during undergrad and there was this one elderly lady who would order lunch every single day at the exact same time. Every driver knew of her and dreaded getting her run. Not because she was a poor tipper or was hostile, but because she lived in absolute squalor. To make things worse, she wouldn't pay you unless you entered her home and placed the food on her tray table. Imagine the Yellow King's shanty from True Detective, then replace all the VHS tapes with empty styrofoam clamshells from previous lunches, and add the urine smell of a thousand adult diapers. It was horrifying. You could smell it from the end of her driveway some days. She would then make you wait amongst all the filth and odor while she filled out the check. Over my tenure there eventually I felt bad for her and wondered if these deliveries were her only interaction with the outside world. I ended up taking her run more often than not and just tried to be as polite as I could. Hopefully those small interactions brought her a little joy." —silvercuellar3
· "I delivered your pizza last night. Second-story condo. You answered the door and there was another guy inside. You definitely weren't hiding what you both were doing...If you see this, would like to come in next time for a few minutes and watch. That was a very hot scene. Discreet here." —Craiglist, Missed Connections
· "They were late once and I was really hungry." —Guest#9
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